Yes, tell me what is a friend? http://www.dictionary.com tells me that a friend means that person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

Can't help but when I reflected on what had happened. It means a great deal. Was having supper yesterday with them. Yeah, I understand it's not their fault, so yes, aunty, not ur fault. whahaha.... the crap about "boh sim" is just b/s that came out of my mouth. Pardon me. My mouth needed that exercise.

Yeah. Thought of it in many ways. Perhaps he has been wrong all the while. Perhaps that guy has been thinking friendship would still be possible. And that guy had so much hope that at least, the very least, friendship would persist. But it turned out the other way round. It wasn't what he expected at all.

Just close your eyes and imagine. My friend there got enlisted into NS. Prior to that, he broke up with a girl. She was still in his mind, all the while. But the other party thought he had changed heart so fast. A chain of events took place while my friend was prisoned and stranded on a pathetic island off the Singapore mainland. Guess what, he logged on to his online friend network website and realized that she has deleted him off the contact. How would he feel. Would you sympathise, empathise, pity or not feel anything at all? This wasn't just all. It isn't a full-stop yet. He too knew the friends of that girl, well they were all classmates after all. So those friends and him used to go out together to catch movies, laze around, eat, etc. This time, because of that girl, special arrangements had to be made. You know, those situations which you will commonly see in Mediacorp 8 dramas where it involves love relationships.

Nothing much to do before I go to my new unit, so I just blog. Waste time...

Signed off,
Francis

Yes, some may claim that I may be siao to talk about such issues. Listen, I'm neither a psychologist nor a doctor of any related specialisation. The thing is that this issue of "stress" is itching me up and affecting many people. And more so, it seems to be the "in-thing" and the "in-word" more commonly used.

To my beloved friends out there, before I continue my so called crapping about how to reduce stress and more bullshit, please please please i beg you to take this short and simple test on stress. It means no harm to take right? So hit it... http://www.stressbusting.co.uk/quiz/quiz.asp
Here's a picture of how the website will look like.

Since most of my friends and peers belong to the "young adults" category, after reading much of the reviews and advices from what I believe are reliable sources, I have decided to share them on the web just for you guys. Just remember, grades in school are not EVERYTHING.

TOP 10 TIPS FOR BUSTING STRESS (information below courtesy of http://www.stressbusting.co.uk/articles/coping_10tips.asp)

What are the secrets of dealing with stress - and of relieving it? Two experts on stress -Dr Roger Henderson, GP and medical columnist; and agony aunt Ingrid Miller - each suggest five stressbusting techniques to get you started...

First, Dr Roger Henderson with some top tips on beating stress.

1. KEEP A DIARY
Keep a list - for at least a fortnight - of events, times, places and people that seem to make you feel more stressed. You will probably be surprised to find that a pattern soon emerges; and this may be linked to

time pressure, personality clashes, inappropriate demands or simply trying to do too many things at once. Once you have identified your pressure points you can move on to the following solutions...

2. TALK
Talk through your diary with a good friend or your partner - even the act of discussing things often makes you feel better. Ask for impartial advice as to how to ease the problems that you have discovered, or choose the sort of stressful situations that you have identified in which to use the following relaxation techniques.

3. LEARN HOW TO RELAX
•Practise deep-breathing techniques such as slowly inhaling while counting to five; hold your breath for five seconds then breathe out slowly. Repeat this 10 times when feeling stressed, concentrating on nothing but your breathing.
•Stretch the muscles of your neck and shoulders by keeping your shoulders level and trying to touch each shoulder with your ear. Look right up at the ceiling, down at the floor and then rotate each shoulder in a wide circle. Repeat five times. Open and close your jaw widely after each time since stress often causes tenseness in the jaw area.
• Take time out. For five minutes every hour, try to 'shut down' and think of nothing but your perfect situation. This could be a dream holiday, ideal partner or simply thinking about doing nothing at all. You will be surprised at how effectively this can lower stress levels.

4. EXERCISE REGULARLY
You do not have to be a gym freak to get the stress-beating benefits of exercise. Even 20 minutes of brisk walking three times a week will help to reduce stress as well as promoting restful sleep.

5. PLAN BREAKS IN YOUR DAY
The aim here is to allow time for the unexpected (which, as we all know, will happen!). Get up 15 minutes earlier than you think you need to and prepare for the day without rushing. Even better, get things ready the night before. Try to have 20 minutes in the morning and afternoon that is exclusively 'your' time, in which you can do whatever you want, even if it is simply sitting doing nothing. Look forward to these times when things get busy and if you are unable to use them always remember to 'catch up' later on.

AND ONE THING NOT TO DO...
One approach, on the other hand, to avoid, is that of using smoking and alcohol as crutches to help you cope - in the long run they simply make stress worse. Drinking more to 'calm your nerves' is a slippery slope.

• Dr Henderson is a GP and medical columnist who is a regular contributor to The Sunday Times and other national papers and magazines. His book, 'Stress Beaters - 100 Proven Ways to Manage Stress' is published by Metro Books at £7.99.

...AND FIVE MORE SIMPLE STRESS RELIEVERS

Ingrid Miller offers five handy stressbusting techniques to use in everyday situations…

1. STRETCH
Sitting upright on a chair, and keeping your back straight, extend your arms out in front of you as far as possible. Hold for ten seconds. Repeat, with your arms behind you. Then hold on to the sides of your chair and push your body upwards. Feel your spine stretch. Hold for ten. Now stretch arms to the ceiling, to release tension in back and shoulders. Relax and shake your arms.

2. USE SCENT TO IMPROVE YOUR MOOD
Certain aromas are thought to activate the production of the brain's feel-good chemical serotonin [although one recent research study suggests that the benefits claimed for aromatherapy may derive from the power of suggestion. Ed.]. Drip a few drops of the following aromatherapy oils on a tissue to sniff when you feel stress levels rising: jasmine, neroli, lavender, chamomile, vetiver, clary sage.

3. DE-CLUTTER
Mess creates confusion and a sense of loss of power. If your desk/home/car is messy and disorganised, have a good clear out and tidy up. You'll instantly feel more in control.

4. CHANGE THE HABIT
Many stresses are habitual. If you start to feel anxious or stressed out, do something out of character. Stop what you're doing and do something else. Or take a minute to take stock and work out why you're feeling uptight.

5. THINK POSITIVE
Use 'affirmations' - positive strands of thought put into words. Repeating, 'I am a loving and much loved person', can work wonders. Say it and believe it. And it will become true.

• Ingrid Miller is the agony aunt of Essentials Magazine.

And to caution those who think being stressed is ok and a small issue, do take note of the following. (Information below courtesy of http://www.stress.org/topic-effects.htm)

Effects Of Stress

Stress is difficult for scientists to define because it is a highly subjective phenomenon that differs for each of us. Things that are distressful for some individuals can be pleasurable for others. We also respond to stress differently. Some people blush, some eat more while others grow pale or eat less. There are numerous physical as well as emotional responses as illustrated by the following list of some 50 common signs and symptoms of stress.

1. Frequent headaches, jaw clenching or pain		26. Insomnia, nightmares, disturbing dreams
2. Gritting, grinding teeth		27. Difficulty concentrating, racing thoughts
3. Stuttering or stammering		28. Trouble learning new information
4. Tremors, trembling of lips, hands		29. Forgetfulness, disorganization, confusion
5. Neck ache, back pain, muscle spasms		30. Difficulty in making decisions.
6. Light headedness, faintness, dizziness		31. Feeling overloaded or overwhelmed.
7. Ringing, buzzing or "popping sounds		32. Frequent crying spells or suicidal thoughts
8. Frequent blushing, sweating		33. Feelings of loneliness or worthlessness
9. Cold or sweaty hands, feet		34. Little interest in appearance, punctuality
10. Dry mouth, problems swallowing		35. Nervous habits, fidgeting, feet tapping
11. Frequent colds, infections, herpes sores		36. Increased frustration, irritability, edginess
12. Rashes, itching, hives, "goose bumps"		37. Overreaction to petty annoyances
13. Unexplained or frequent "allergy" attacks		38. Increased number of minor accidents
14. Heartburn, stomach pain, nausea		39. Obsessive or compulsive behavior
15. Excess belching, flatulence		40. Reduced work efficiency or productivity
16. Constipation, diarrhea		41. Lies or excuses to cover up poor work
17. Difficulty breathing, sighing		42. Rapid or mumbled speech
18. Sudden attacks of panic		43. Excessive defensiveness or suspiciousness
19. Chest pain, palpitations		44. Problems in communication, sharing
20. Frequent urination		45. Social withdrawal and isolation
21. Poor sexual desire or performance		46. Constant tiredness, weakness, fatigue
22. Excess anxiety, worry, guilt, nervousness		47. Frequent use of over-the-counter drugs
23. Increased anger, frustration, hostility		48. Weight gain or loss without diet
24. Depression, frequent or wild mood swings		49. Increased smoking, alcohol or drug use
25. Increased or decreased appetite		50. Excessive gambling or impulse buying

As demonstrated in the above list, stress can have wide ranging effects on emotions, mood and behavior. Equally important but often less appreciated are effects on various systems, organs and tissues all over the body, as illustrated by the following diagram.

There are numerous emotional and physical disorders that have been linked to stress including depression, anxiety, heart attacks, stroke, hypertension, immune system disturbances that increase susceptibility to infections, a host of viral linked disorders ranging from the common cold and herpes to AIDS and certain cancers, as well as autoimmune diseases like rheumatoid arthritis and multiple sclerosis. In addition stress can have direct effects on the skin (rashes, hives, atopic dermatitis, the gastrointestinal system (GERD, peptic ulcer, irritable bowel syndrome, ulcerative colitis) and can contribute to insomnia and degenerative neurological disorders like Parkinson's disease. In fact, it's hard to think of any disease in which stress cannot play an aggravating role or any part of the body that is not affected (see stress effects on the body stress diagram) or. This list will undoubtedly grow as the extensive ramifications of stress are increasingly being appreciated. Additional information is available at Current and Past Stress Scoops, Current and Past Newsletters and elsewhere on www.stress.org

And for Christians, just remember, whatever the health magazines and reviews may write. Yes, indeed, I rekon that they are truly useful. But there's still one God - our Father, who can give us rest and make a way for us even when we are heavy-laden. It's our individual decision as to whether we want to surrender EVERYTHING to Him and let Him rebuild the "tomorrows" for us. Only thru SURRENDERING and telling God that we are serious in allowing the Holy Spirit to take control of our lives and emotions, then by and by the issue of stress will be minimal. Moreover, our bodies are the holy temples of God, it's thereby even more important to take care of our mental health so as to bring glory to God's name to others in spite of whatever situations we are in, be it in school or at our workplaces.